


Enough to send you flying

by OhhMyy



Series: Coming Back To Life. [24]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, But also not an ass, Explicit Language, F/M, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony is an ass, Violence, but kind of an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 05:06:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhhMyy/pseuds/OhhMyy
Summary: The heroes discover why Stark has taken to sobriety. Flashbacks commence, arguments ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been so very absent despite having written this months ago, please accept my apologies! Life has been a bit of a shit show lately and combined with other things I've had to move and have had no internet access! 
> 
> I hope the somewhat lengthy word count makes up for it a tad. Please leave feedback :)

“Tony you’ve had enough” She untangles herself from Bucky on the sofa and closes in on him, attempting to remove the glass of scotch from his hand, failing as he yanks it away, moving a few steps away and sipping at it even though his step wobbles. Tony Stark is no lightweight and a stumble is a clear cut sign to all that he’s definitely had more than usual; his usual has been significantly reduced lately and all have previously been impressed at his new found dedication to stopping after a few glasses.

“I’m fine Tiny Dancer, leave me alone”

“Tony, please, no more. Come on”

The other avengers, nicely tipsy, watch the exchange in fascination. They’re aware that Tony has had too much to drink and they’re sober enough to be concerned as the friends argue but nobody will step in until they feel it’s necessary. Only Vision takes a slow step forward, Wanda glances at him with a raised eyebrow but his attention is firmly on the pair and the glass in Tony’s hand.

“Mr Stark, I think it would be wise for you to put the glass down” Tony’s eyes flick to Vision as his body staggers slightly and he gulps down the rest of his drink in one whilst glaring, moving to the counter in front of him to pour another glass.

“Tony Stark, give me the fucking glass!” She screams; until this point she’s been relatively calm, communicating with him in the way you do small children (everyone is well aware this approach usually works with Stark), and the group take collective steps to move closer, getting up from their eats and taking careful steps, still not entirely sure what’s happening but knowing there’s a lot more to this than meets the eye.

Charlie grabs at his arm as he uncaps the expensive bottle of booze and he wrenches it out of her grip before turning on her quickly, rage burning in his eyes. Everyone notices that she flinches instinctively, taking a step back. Vision is instantly at Tony’s other side, grabbing the bottle out of reach but his effort isn’t needed because Tony’s entire body language changes. He looks as if he’s about to fold in on himself and the rage in his eyes has been replaced with an emotion not normally seen on his face, guilt. He takes a step towards Charlie at the same time Bucky and Natasha move behind her, wordlessly giving her support and back up.

“Charlie, I’m sorry” He whispers it, or attempts to but the glasses he’s drunk already have lowered his inhibitions and it comes out louder than he expected but equally as broken.

“Tony” She does manage to whisper back, her single beer not even having made a dent on her system “please don’t do this to me again”. The air around them is tense and the tears glistening in Starks eyes are an indicator to the rest of them that something is seriously wrong. She takes a look back at the group, sees the confusion on their faces and when she looks back she can see Tony’s shoulders trembling, his hands moving aimlessly as he tries to grip something she can’t see but otherwise stock still; feet firm on the floor and head bowed.

Charlie silently moves from her space, rounding past the counter that the glass lays on, giving in and switching on the coffee machine, taking charge like she’s used to despite the prickling behind her eyes. She shoots a look to Wanda in permission and asks her without speaking to pour Tony a cup when it’s ready, Wanda agrees but looks confused. The entire group look ready to launch into a string of questions she can’t handle, except (Wanda has noted) Vision.

She places a hand under Tony’s chin briefly, lifting his gaze up to hers before letting his head drop silently and putting her hands on his shoulders. Leads him slowly to the chair by the counter, he lets her move him without any hesitation, slumping in the seat and putting his head down on the table; mumbling a whispered string of apologies.

“Vision, do you have all of JARVIS’s memories?” She too has noticed he’s a step ahead of the group.

“Not all of them, but this one yes” She nods at him, knowing he understands her and as she takes a place on the chair next to Tony, leaning her head against his shoulder, hand running circles on his back as he shivers, shucking in silent tears and deep breaths. She is aware of Vision herding a group of very confused superheroes to the Television to replay security footage and offer an explanation that she can’t.

 

-

_17 th July 2006. 11:32pm_

_Tony stumbles nosily around his lab, banging tools down on work benches and stumbling. There are discarded bottles of liquor on the floor and he’s unshaven, un-showered and looks a mess. He picks up a spare part and throws it across the room, letting loose a yell of Peppers name and mumbling about where to find a new assistant._

_He turns and swigs straight from a bottle of Jack Daniels as the door to the lab opens. Charlie walks in. She stops in her tracks and takes in the mess, casting a look around the room before making her way over to Tony, stepping over shattered glass._

_“Hey Sweetheart, put the bottle down” She’s gentle, a few feet away from him and she talks calmly._

_“No, go away” He takes another swig, putting a palm on the table to steady himself as his feet stumble on the solid ground._

_“I’m not going anywhere Tony, you’ve had enough”_

_“You’ll go, Pepper went, you’ll go and I’ll have nobody, I never have anybody” His words are slurred but recognisable and she steps over broken glass to move closer to him, kicking a few larger shards away with the side of her foot._

_“I’m here Tony. I’m here and I need you to stop drinking now, okay?” Tony turns to her, bottle still in hand and shakes his head, taking longer than usual to right himself. She reaches for the bottle and he smacks her hand away, a loud grunt aimed in her direction._

_“Put it down, you’re going to kill yourself at this rate”_

_“Good!” He screams it at her, bringing his arms up and then back down like a petulant child, spilling whiskey as he does so._

_“Not good! Give!” she’s yelling back now, reaching for the bottle again, he rips it out of her reach and slams it down behind him._

_Time seems to slow down, but in reality he whirls back around at a lightening pace and hits the back of his hand against her face with another scream. It’s an accident, not coordinated enough to be aimed at her, but he’s been swinging his arms in anger like a no good drunk for an entire evening, consumed more alcohol than he has in a long time. Tony is strong even without the suit and the force of it sends her flying, she lands with a smack on the floor, hand in a pile of what used to be wine bottle. She shakes her head and stands, wincing as she uses her injured hand for leverage._

_Tony has frozen on the spot, staring at her in horror; eyes wide and cheeks sunken. She makes a move towards him and he takes a step back in what looks like fear, panic etched on his features and he looks like he might vomit. She nods at him gently, hands out in front of her as if trying to calm a wild animal and she takes another step forward. Tony is still, he lets her come to him but his feet give way just as she reaches out to touch his shoulder._

_They go down together and she lands on the floor with her legs crossed at the ankles. She wraps her arms around his shoulders as he curls the upper half of his body into her lap like a child, arms wrapped around the bottom of her waist, resting on her hips and his fingers hold onto her for dear life; he wails like one, the sound is gut-wrenching and loud and her body shakes with the force of it as wet tears trace their way from his face and onto her jeans._

The video feed skips.

_1:07am_

_They sit there for at least an hour, until Tony’s tears have ceased and the room has stopped spinning. Charlie eases him from her lap, easing herself up and then helping him. She loops an arm under his and around his back and walks him out of the door._

_2:36am_

_Charlie walks back into the lab. Bandage around her hand and a noticeable absence of an attached Stark. She is slightly shaky on her feet and her eyes are sunken from exhaustion and emotion._

_She bends down and starts picking pieces off the floor, tears on her face as she does so but she doesn’t let up in her quick pace._

The video feed skips.

_3:00am_

_It takes her another hour to clean the mess, return tools to their places and remove any bottles of alcohol she finds (there were 4 unopened and she instructs JARVIS not to tell Tony where they are should he ask)._

_She stops in the middle of the room, places her head in her hands and lets out a long, high pitched and painful cry before straightening up, taking a deep breath and walking out, turning the light off on her way._

-

The room is silent, Vision has his eyes closed in contemplation; he has seen this before and did not wish to relive it, Wanda takes his hand to calm him, sharp as a tool she had guessed the footage wouldn’t be pleasant and though she is disturbed she has long ago learnt not to be shocked by what the world has to offer. The heroes sit as still as possible and if someone were to drop a pin you’d hear it. All heads turn towards the pair at the counter, Starks head is still on the table but his hands are covering his ears, pressing tightly against the sides of his head, he hears the sound replay enough in his memory not to want to hear it from across the room. Charlie rubs circles on his back with on hand, the other grips her own thigh hard enough to bruise, she knows that something is about to explode.

It surprises her that it is not Bucky who moves first but Steve. He is calm and controlled in his movements but there’s sadness and anger in his face that she knows were it not for her presence would be let out a different way.

“Stark”  His voice is steady and firm, always a leader and she is genuinely unsure where he’s going to go, by the look that crosses his face Steve isn’t sure either but she reaches up and moves Tony’s hands away from his ears gently; the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist turns his head to look his captain in the eyes. Whatever Steve sees there is enough to make him pause and he sighs before hell breaks loose behind him

“Stark! You son of a bitch!” There’s Bucky. She knew that would come. He moves quickly towards them, all blazing anger and tense shoulders and she’s out of her seat before she can think what she’s doing. She places herself between the two men, her best friend and her lover, she knows he’ll interpret this as taking Tony’s side but really she’s a vested interest in keeping both of them alive and in one piece. Tony is looking up but the buzz in his head isn’t allowing him to fully grasp what’s being said to him anyway, his eyes are glassy and unfocused.

“Stand down Barnes” She barks the order without thinking, and he stops in front of her, shocked. The others are yelling in the background, some at Bucky, some at her for protecting Tony. Thor is booming loud about respecting women, Clint and Natasha are arguing between themselves and in the corner of her eye she notices Bruce breathing heavily with his head bowed, not quite code green but well on his way.

“Everyone shut up!” She yells it loud enough to stop the conversation, one by one they all turn to look at her and she suddenly wants to make herself as small as possible, almost wants to go back to the days when it was just her and Tony and she didn’t feel like she owed anyone anything and the only thing she had to protect him from was himself.

“I know you’re all angry and shocked, but this was ten years ago and we have dealt with it.” She speaks quietly, just above silence but she knows that she has their full attention and her voice is firm and commanding “We all have pasts, Tony fucked up. Tonight shouldn’t have happened, but I do not need protecting from him” She nods to Wanda, who has silently asked if she needs help, nods her head again towards Tony and both her and Vision step forward to escort him to his bedroom. The noise has died down and everyone is still without the faintest clue of what to do next.

One by one the group files out in silence, Natasha gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving the room with Clint and Thor. Steve gives her a look she registers as disappointment before exiting and her heart gives a painful squeeze at it. She notices that Bucky hasn’t moved an inch but she walks slowly over to where Bruce is sitting having calmed him breathing and sits gingerly on the arm of his chair.

“You okay Bruce?” It comes out quietly and he looks up at her, embarrassment written on his features.

“Yeah. Sorry” Bruce is rarely good with touch or talking about emotion but he leans over and clasps her hand gently “Do you need anything?” He nods subtly over to Bucky and she’s more touched by the tiny gesture than by anything else that evening; knows despite his problems that he’d stay if she so much as hesitated to confirm her wellbeing.

“No Bruce, maybe just avoid the lab tonight in case Tony heads down” He gives her fingers a brief squeeze before easing himself from the chair and heading to bed, turning to check on her just once more before leaving the room. Leaving her alone with Bucky.

He’s leaning on the back of the sofa when she turns back to him, arms crossed in front of his chest and she drags a hand across her tired face before moving to stand in front of him.

“Penny for your thoughts” she’s trying for light, knows it won’t work but she’s exhausted and she really doesn’t want to have this conversation.

“I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m disappointed and I’m confused; Want to write me a cheque?”

“Well I could do cash, I’m friends with the billionaire Tony Stark you know” She knows that’s a low blow, and that it probably came out much more sarcastic than the joking tone she’d intended so she winces, the corner of Bucky’s mouth lifts in a small smirk so perhaps she’s not the only one who doesn’t really want this to happen.

“Want to tell me about all those emotions Buck?” She tries when he doesn’t respond. She can see the cogs turning in his head, mood changing behind the storm in his eyes.

“I’m angry as hell at Tony, I’m so mad I could smack him like he smacked you and Christ I can’t stop seeing it” His eyes shutter close for a second before he opens them again “I’m disappointed and confused that you’re still friends with someone who treated you so badly. I’m sad because you don’t seem to see why that’s not alright, and I really don’t want to be angry at you but you went back to tidy up a mess that he created before smacking you in the face”

She takes a deep breath and stops for a minute to gather her thoughts before replying.

“It’s not alright. I get it. I’m not asking you not to be any of those things, but it was ten years ago, I’m not saying that makes it okay because it doesn’t but there’s a lot you don’t know about my friendship with Tony and not all of it’s going to be good.” He raises an eyebrow at her but she shakes her head, knows that some stories aren’t for sharing and she wants him to understand but doesn’t actually feel like she needs to defend her choices “He didn’t get away with it Buck, he was so broken and I’m not excusing his behaviour but he has more than made up for it and you need to trust me when I say that it eats at him more often than not. I lived with a man who tortured me for two years, I’m not living with Stockholm syndrome for Tony, it was once, it was an accident and we dealt with it.”

“Dealt with it?”

“It’s been ten years Bucky. I’ve rocked that fully grown man like a baby more than a dozen times over this” Despite the tension in the air Bucky lifts a small smile, amused by her attempt at light-hearted. She brings her arms up to her chest, crossing them to mirror his stance before she continues; seriously. “He saved my life; he got me out of a place I could have died in and here’s been there every time I’ve ever needed him except that one accident. You can’t judge our whole friendship on one night. By dealt I mean forgiven and I won’t apologise for it”

He reaches out and presses his palms against her hips, pulling her into him gently, resting his fingers in the belt loops of her jeans as she wraps her arms around him, pressing her hands flat against the tense muscles of his back. She fleetingly rests her head against his collarbone before pulling her head back to look up into his eyes.

“You’re allowed to be angry at me James, and him, that’s fine but I need you to respect that I know what I’m doing and that I’m grown up enough to make my own decisions.”

He nods, leaning down slightly to rest his forehead against hers.

“Alright” he murmurs before bringing his lips against hers and taking his fingers from her jeans to wrap around her waist, she hums in acknowledgment and raises a small smile.

“Do you want to stay at mine tonight?” He asks, closing his eyes and trying to stifle a yawn as he lifts his head away from hers lest he risk doing so in her face.

“You’re not going to like it, but I really think I need to go and see Tony” Bucky frowns in contemplation but lets go of her anyway, allowing her to step out of arms as he gestures for her to go ahead. She does, but not before pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth in silent thanks.

He heaves himself away from the sofa and does a quick tidy of the living room before heading to his room.


	2. Chapter 2

She doesn’t knock, walking straight in to find Tony laying on the covers. He’s on his side, knees pulled up to his chest with his eyes clamped tightly shut. She watches him for at least a few minutes as his breathing remains steady; she knows without question he is replaying the scene inside his head, flashing images behind his eyes and she can tell each time he watches himself hit her; eyelids squeezing impossibly tighter before unclenching.

She walks to the bedside and flips the lamp on before turning the big overhead light off, dimming the room into a gentle orange glow. He’s opened his eyes and he watches her slowly move around the room before she stops at the foot of the bed. She proffers him a sheepish, but sad, smile and tugs at the bottom of his slacks, prompting him to roll over and undo a button, shimmying a bit to help her, once they’re off she throws them to the floor and climbs over the end of the bed up to the free side, nudging him gently to look her in the eyes as she kneels beside him.

“Tony?” She whispers, voice gentle like she’s talking to a child and she remembers just how fragile her best friend can be. He hides behind wit and playful barbs but the man has been broken and left alone by both death and neglect and she has made silent vows to herself more than once not to leave him.

He’s looking at her but his eyes are glassy, wide and red, half from the whisky and half from the tears.

“You wanna take a shower?”

He shakes his head no and she’s not sure if he’s actually blinked but he doesn’t take his eyes from her; he’s looking at her, not for the first time, like she’s wonder incarnate and she knows that it comes from a place of awe, a place that questions how after everything the other is still there, she knows because she’s looked at him the same way countless times. She sighs, tugging at his shirt in silent command and walking to the bathroom as he takes it off behind her.

She shuts the door quietly, splashes water over her face and fetches her spare toothbrush from under the sink to brush the beer taste away. She takes a long look in the mirror, notes the bags under her eyes and the slight wobble in her lip that she can’t quite get to leave. Her face is paler than usual and her throat burns.

Charlie wiggles her jeans off and removes her vest before exiting, throwing them in the hamper to be washed. She grabs one of Tony’s shirts from the closest drawer, the ones she is sure he doesn’t wear anymore and keeps on the top of the dresser just for her, and pulls it on before undoing her bra and sliding it out of the sleeve.

Tony has curled back into his fetal position, facing away from her. She crawls onto her side of the bed, settling herself behind him. She brings her knees up behind his and waits till he scoots back into her before wrapping her arm over him, palm coming to rest just under his arc-reactor and fingers covering it gently. She presses her forehead to the back of his neck and closes her eyes.

She listens to his breathing and the tick of the clock for a minute.

“You okay?”

“I’m sorry” She brings her hand up to his face without looking; wiping the tears she knows are on his cheek without having to check. He presses a fleeting, feather light peck to her fingers as she brings her hand back down past his chin to lie against the warm metal at his chest; she’d been squeamish about the arc reactor at first, used to flesh where the machinery lies but more often than not now she takes comfort in it, thankful for the device for letting her keep her best friend.

“I know”

“I’m sorry” He repeats and she presses her hand firmer against the metal at the centre of his chest, never hard enough to hurt him but enough that she can feel it humming beneath her palm.

“Tony, I know. I forgive you” She presses herself tighter against him, wishes she could take the pain away with touch alone. He’s been worse since Pepper left and she’s with Tony completely on wishing she’d come back but she, probably more than anyone beside the beautiful redhead, understand her reasons for going. Tony was a lot to deal with before he became a hero and the attention surrounding him afterwards was almost as big as the issues he had alongside. It is hard to love someone and live completely in their shadow, especially when that someone lives inside of their own head, barely space for his own mind let alone another person. Pepper had tried, and probably for longer than would let her still be classified as sane but Charlie misses her as a friend as much as she misses Tony having stability and love.

Tony rolls over sluggishly, scooting her legs out of the way, and turns to face her, keeping her arm in between them. His face is close to hers and he searches her eyes for the forgiveness she professes, keeps his eyes unblinking though they flicker in their sockets are he hunts the depths of her irises. The first time he did this, many years ago over a fight not nearly as serious she thought he was going to kiss her such was the intensity of his gaze. The second time she realised that as privileged as he was he still expected to be abandoned for a mistake, for an argument, even just for existing. She did kiss him then, the second time; on the forehead as she curled her body around his and let him weep into the fabric of her pajamas.

“Is Tin Man going to kick my ass?” She quirks the corner of her lip.

“Well I don’t know Oz, you might have to lend him your ticker” She taps a fingertip against the outer shell of the arc-reactor in jest and he raises a small smile in return; the alcohol slowly leaving his system and his eyes returning to normal.

“I’m sor-“

“I forgive you”  

He shuffles down the bed, kicking the covers down until they reach his feet and Charlie lifts the duvet out from underneath her, bringing it up on either side to cover them. Tony rests his head against her chest, forehead pressed where her heart beats and tangles his legs with hers.

“I love you, Charlie” She briefly considers that if Bucky wouldn’t kick his ass for tonight’s debacle he might kick his ass for lying half dressed with his girlfriend.

She understands that her friendship with Tony is not conventional, it breaks boundaries that would make most people uncomfortable; she knows that tomorrow she will go back to Bucky’s bed, to the man she is in love with and explain that she spent this night in the bed of a man she loves but in a very different way, that she has spent more nights chasing away Tony’s demons than she can count. He has accepted her relationship with the troubled genius even if he cannot fully understand it, his friendship with Steve is close, having weathered many storms and she knows how deep their bond runs but they do not profess love, they do not hold each other at nights when nightmares threaten to become reality and she worries sometimes, deep down, that one day he will make her choose.

She runs a hand gently through Tony’s hair before bringing it down to his bicep, getting comfortable and suddenly feeling the exhaustion of the evening hit her. She heaves a sigh and feels Tony press his head just a little firmer; trying to comfort her and himself simultaneously, she knows this will not be the last time they have this conversation, will not be the last time he apologises but she is eternally thankful that he knows what she feels without having to be told.

“I love you too Stark”


End file.
